I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
