The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
