i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
