Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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