Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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