good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize