dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
