Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
