Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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