Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
