first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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