Whod you bang
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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