So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
