Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
