marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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