too bad you live with your parents still
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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