I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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