I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
