Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
