Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Randomize
