seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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