hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
