Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize