we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
