I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
