At least make sure they are 18
Why
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
