i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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