i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
