I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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