so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
