Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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