my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
