my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
