So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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