White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
