Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
