i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
