you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
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