Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
