is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
