if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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