Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
