Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
