I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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