she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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