You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
