i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
