You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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