God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize