Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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