fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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