She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
