I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
