South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
