Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
