I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
