it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you had me at cake vodka
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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