We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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