NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
