I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
