I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
