Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
