there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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