.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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