I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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