Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
