you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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